The Sartorial Hegemony of Britannia

Today I want to talk about the British – yes, the people from the land of the Union Jack. Though not everyone wears the flag as proudly as Geri Halliwell did, the British certainly didn’t need a dress to know that their country was a major influence not only in politics and economies but also in societies and cultures. From D. H. Lawrence to Winston Churchill to Alexander McQueen, these British figures have all cut lasting impressions even in the smallest stitch of the world today.

Well, taking from Martin Luther King’s often-quoted phrase, “the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice”, if I can spin a twist out of that line, it would sound something like, “the clutch of the British is far and wide but it bends towards chaos.” Really, if we take a closer look at the aftermath of the British Empire i.e. how the Commonwealth nations are doing today – it is mostly a state of shambles. In South Africa, the country is still reeling in from the monstrosity of the apartheid regime and in Singapore, it is a crime for gay couples to conjugate without closing their doors, while their English counterparts are allowed to merrily engage in PDAs. Honestly, the world would be a less tiresome place without all the mess.

But if there is anything that history has taught us, it is that there is nothing we can do to change it. Let’s face it – the British are never going to disappear from the face of the Earth. The day they do, you know the rest of the world is going down as well. So, why not, in the meantime, take a leaf out of their book and steal some tips on how to dress well. After all, if there is only one thing well that they didn’t mess up, it is dressing up. With time-tested sartorial institutions like Savile Row and and Central Saint Martins, it is mightily difficult to go wrong.

So from Camilla Parker Bowles to Lily Allen, Elton John to Robert Pattinson, there is something for the young and old, gay and straight from the land of the Union Jack. You only need to know to pluck from the right shrubbery to enjoy the bountiful fruits of the grand Britannia – after all, for her to be as old as she is only deserves at the very least, our respect.